Pursuing Faith

I came across an old poem I had written based on the story of the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15, who was looking to Jesus to free her daughter from demons. The message of her relentless trust still stirs my heart this morning. For those of you feeling rejected by God despite your coming to Him, over and over again, please -- Be encouraged.

I ran to You and called You
by someone else's Name.
I did not know You well myself
But followed just the same-
for somewhere deep inside I knew
that You could heal her pain
And so to ask for gifts of change,
My Canaanite heart came.

You didn't even turn around
I worried You would pass
Go on your way, ignore my heart
That shattered quick like glass.
Would You not shape my future
Since You knew my darkest past?
My desperate cries for mercy bounced
off heavens made of brass.

I kept on running after You
Though setting was the day
And my constant crying for Your grace
Got in Your foll'wers' way.
Then You stopped and looked at me
I barely heard You say-
"I was not meant to feed you first"
As You turned and walked away.

All pretense gone, I still drew near
And fell before Your feet.
I worshipped You and You alone
Truth warmed me like the heat...
But You stepped back and from Your lips
These words my ears did meet,
"It is not fit for dogs to have
The food that children eat."

"Tis true, O Lord," my heart agreed,
"and yet, to Thee, I come.
You are the just and living God
where all good gifts come from.
And so I ask you once again,
Not for the meal- just some
of the vast bounty that You give;
I'm satisfied with crumbs."

And while I worshiped, You bent down
To hand to me my Fate.
A smile spread across Your face
in midst an hour so late.
The agony of all my cries
was worth the endless wait--
as You said, "Be it unto you,
For, lo, your faith is great."