High on Heels

I am a woman. Always have been, always will be. Yet, there is one thing I never quite got about being a woman, and that is High Heels. I can still remember the joy in my 8 month pregnant sister's voice as she related to me how good she felt all night long wearing this killer dress and 3 inch heels to a friend's party. Seriously???! I can't balace on 1 inch heels, let alone adding two more inches and a 40 pound watermelon to the front side of me. Why would someone do that to themselves?

In all honesty, I have tried hard to fight this aversion of mine. I mean, I see how lovely and poised women look when they are striding down the street wearing those spiked wonders. In fact, I had actually envisioned my move to Portland to be a metamorphosis in many ways, one of which was always dressing nicely and wearing heels. (after all, these people don't know me yet, so when would be a better time to change my image?). Well, that ideal changed after I quickly discovered two things about my life in Portland: 1. rain. 2. public transportation. Let's face it, when you have to walk multiple blocks to your next bus stop, only to find it approaching as you are a half mile away, sprinting in heels just doesn't work. When you add liquid diversion hazarding your run, off come those heels and on go the poise-deadening, yet highly functional boots.

But this post is all about being high on heels, and so let the transition begin! This past week I have begun my addiction. It was my first business trip, and, in order to mask the rising panic of feeling like I was an impostor, I wanted to look especially corporate. Two pairs of heels and a stack of silk shirts, trousers, and suit dresses filled my carry-on.

My first day dressing up (and yes, I did feel like a kid in an adult's closet), I was hooked. I felt powerful, strong, and alluring. There was boldness in my step and confidence in my eye. People immediately engaged me in stimulating conversations, and several workers at the hotel went out of their way to accomodate my requests.

Day after day that week, I started needing my heels. I found myself wearing my work clothes long after the conferences ended, making excuses to walk through the mall just one more time, and proudly wandering the aisles of grocery stores looking like I was in a board meeting.

What was this magic elixir I was imbibing? It was the drug of femininity.

Where does that leave me today? Well, it's still likely that you'll see me on the streets wearing my flats or my flip flops, but there's a hesitation now when I dress. It's no longer second nature to grab for that tshirt and those slides. I now linger near my dress shoes and (gasp) my cardigans. ahem, cardigan. But even on those days when I am running (in my flats of course) for the #56, I feel strong... because I know I am wearing heels on the inside. You see, I am a woman.

I landed in Orlando International at 4:47 am after spending the last 3.5 hours trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in a not so warm airplane... Chalk this up to the 3rd day this past week where I have had less than 4 hours of sleep.

Nonetheless---I have commenced my first business trip!!!

It cracks me up to think that I'm actually flying to a different state on a company credit card so that I can attend some conferences. I mean, this is for people who wear business suits, who have slim and tidy carry on baggage only, and who are polished and mature. Here I am, in pigtails, balancing my bulging suitcase, and lugging my overweighted purse, while trying to stuff it into a red Target environmental bag which holds my computer, sweatshirt, and some snacks, so I can sneak three actual items onto the plane in order to avoid checking in luggage. I'm bent over from my precariously placed materialism, and I almost knock out some woman trying to get my luggage in the overhead container. Smooth, very smooth.

So this is corporate me. After I picked up my rental car, I headed straight for a Starbucks...not because I was craving their muddied caffeine at 5:40 in the morning, but because (brilliant me)I had not printed out my hotel information nor directions to any place in this large, large city and therefore I was desperate to access some free wifi. Yes, this is corporate me. Please don't rat me out to my bosses just yet. (although I have a sneaking suspicion they would not be surprised by any of this...)

And so, I plan on keeping you all updated about this new venture of mine while I'm down here, since I anticipate spending long hours in my lush hotel room reveling in all the alone time I have. Of course, I will need to get some work done, so... ooh! perhaps I can blog while I'm in the conferences... heh, heh, heh.