Stage one of breaking through life-lies has commenced. In stage two I bear witness to these further words of love the Holy God gently used to slaughter the choke hold of untruth in my life:
I don't have what it takes.
Is this such a a bad thing, Leah? When you believe it's all about you or all up to you, aren't you driven by anxiety and stress and frustration? And aren't these the things that cause you to break down, give up and isolate? What if you embraced this truth- that you are not needed to control the universe? What if you came to me, weary one, and simply laid down to rest? Look- I have found green pastures for you and because I am your Good Shepherd, I am making you lie down there. Do not fear that this rest will equal impotence or apathy. Don't look for a shadowy underbelly to the thought of letting go. When you allow Me to guide you- I do. I will speak a word in your ear saying "This is the way, walk in it" whenever you turn to the right or to the left. Leah I am good. So relax, this stuff called life isn't up to you. (Psalm 23:2; Isaiah 30:21; Matthew 11:25-30).
My value is in my appearance (therefore, I am unvaluable).
Define value here, Beloved. If you mean worth or acceptance as a human soul, then you are utterly wrong. Your appearance is but a shell that houses the greater glory. Don't allow the paint to determine the worth of the house. And don't forget- it is I who painted you. I designed and fashioned and tweaked every last part of you and you make Me glow. How much I love you! You are a well created daughter of divinity. No need to cheapen that by over emphasizing (or underplaying for that matter) what I have crafted.
And Beloved, don't get too up-in-arms when others determine value on you from the outside first. It's what man does. It's what you do. You do look at the appearance, but I am training you to see things my way- to view others' hearts and not their decor.
So, is this about value or about attention? The one does not equate the other, you know. Listen to my song over you, feel the rhythm, and begin to dance. Joyful twirling helps spin off these insecurities. (Psalm 127:1, I Samuel 16:7; Psalm 139; Isaiah 49:16; 2 Corinthians 4:18; Zephaniah 3:17).
I only have value when I'm needed.
Sparrows aren't needed, especially when they fall, but I see them and I take care of them. You have more value than they. Flowers are not necessary to life, and yet they are loved and adored and nurtured-- but you are so much more precious than these. When did My need for you arise? When I sent My Son to bleed out for you before you were even a thought or your parents' parents even a reality? No, I did not need you; but see- you were loved then. My love for you doesn't even take in anything that you can accomplish, create, diminish or destroy. You are loved as truly as you need oxygen to breathe. You have value in the surest way you know that stars in the night sky burn. It is fact. It is not predicated on any of your past deeds, present abilities, or future plans. You. Are. Loved. And don't allow fleeting stretches of emotion cause you to forget the myriads of gifts, smiles, letters, phone calls, and encouragement you have received from others when you had nothing to offer- only everything to gain. In fact, wasn't the very own studio you are living in given to you in this way? Walk in My truth. Envelop your heart in how much you are fully valued until it settles into your very bones. (Luke 12:6-7, 22-32; Ephesians 1:3-12).
I am my flaws.
Oh dear one, where did you first learn this lie? I have never claimed this for you. Remember- I see things that are not as if they already are. And you- you are perfected in my Son. He covers you and wraps you and heals all these cracks that you consider chasms in your soul. You are not perfect, sweet one, but you are not meant to be apart from Me. I am what makes you, you. Not your mistakes or your fears or your inadequacies. I am. Can you see the hope for yourself? It is there. Can you reach further into the freedom that is before you? It exists. Relationships are about learning and growing. This means that there are the times in between the grasping that you flail. It is because you haven't gained that new understanding yet- but it indicates that you are not stagnant. Failures indicate attempts. And attempting to change is the only way to obtain it.
Oh, and one more thing. Flaws don't equal defects. In my kingdom, they are the rents in the curtain that expose what is eternal. They are the cracks in the lantern that only allow more of the light to pour out. They are trenches dug in the battlefield where you can be lowered in order to be safe from the enemy's arrows. They keep you there, not in degradation, but in covering. They are a gift to you because they can cause you to draw closer to Me, if only you will allow them to. (2 Corinthians 4:7; Isaiah 46:8-10)
"Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, "I believed, and so I spoke," we also believe, and so we also speak..." (2. Cor. 4:13)
